The wife said I should call it the truth table so that's what I call it now. So read on! Exercise your power by choosing when to assert and when to let go. When you hear yourself trying to convince your partner, remind yourself that they have their own mind and experiences and that is in part what drew you to them Work on your emotional. And then you have to write down what it made you feel. Usually a counselor who specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy can help with this. Most simply, a person may feel that his or her partner is so incredibleso beautiful, so smart, so confident, so successful, so virtuous, what have youthat there is no way to compare to him . I suggested that he call his son to chat, but that he let his ex be the one this time to break the bad news, and he became very defensive telling me that I did not want him to speak to his son. Gifts Really Meant for the Kids. Here are treatments and self-help methods to overcome it. I may feel a certain way, but that doesnt make those feelings true. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. From time to time, I see people who have trouble staying calm in their intimate relationship. More research is needed to determine divorce statistics within the first year of marriage. It might even require the efforts of a therapist as well. My bad. So, think about it next time you get upset with your partner. Theyll never make you feel like your big goals are stupid or unrealistic. It might bring up trust issues which could force you to grow distant , or keep a wall between you and your partner. When we're in love, it's a lot easier to remember the details about someone like the color of their eyes, the names of their siblings, or their favorite pizza toppings. I just reminded him that this scenario has never worked in the past. I just ignore it and agree at the end of every other sentence. This is usually accompanied by the declaration I swore Id never become my mum/dad. When we are distressed, we have automatic thoughts -- that is, thoughts that come to us spontaneously, seem true and generally go unexamined. He should trust you, even if he doesnt agree with you. Sign up for Dr. Wyatt's FREE resource on the Best Way To Improve Your Communication. You are afraid they will use the information against you. As Jordan Pickell, a therapist who supports individuals and couples to navigate relationships and find healing after abuse, previously told Bustle, "Theres a difference between pointing out the impact of a specific behavior and attacking you as a person. You never get a day off,' wrote one user, in response to ApprehensiveShock655's question. It means when you are in a relationship with someone who cares but doesn't always get it right according to your grand plan of the way the world should be, you stop assuming their intentions (especially if they're negative), you give them the benefit of the doubt, and when in doubt, you ask. Tonight, I did not want him to end up being blamed for a mutual decision that was all, and that he can twist that into me not wanting him to talk to his child is crazy. Bullshit. Narcissistic, brash, and self-destructive "Jimmy Shive-Overly," played by Chris Geere (The Spa), thinks all relationships are doomed. Write down the incident, your automatic thoughts, the truth, and then your balanced thoughts and see how it changes the way you think and therefore how you behave and feel. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Whatever the case may be, going into a business partnership can be tricky, and here's why: 1. I reminded him that whenever he had to be the messenger of mutual bad news in the past that he was the only one blamed, and that his son called the mother who then sided with the son. The more you push this to the side, the bigger the issue it is going to become." Once is enough, maybe twice at the most. In such a situation the best thing would be counselling. "Instead of demeaning your partner's feelings, seek to understand why they feel or believe what they do. However, for a lot of people they are not accurate because again, they're influenced by their past. I am compassionate and empathetic. It's your life, you only get one. So in response to their lack of staying in touch with you on this vacation, what started going through your mind? "Breaking up evokes a lot of really strong emotions in people," Dr. Freitag explains. Was it mad, sad or fear? But it can be done, by learning to be logical and. He does not like that I have opinions in general, so perhaps that is part of it. This is why its important to ascertain the reason behind such behaviour. If you're in a relationship and your arguments tend to hit below the belt this could be a sign to break up.. In a relationship, we want to be able to have openness and sharing of information, of each other's lives, both the good and the bad.. I am honest and straight forward with my opin. Maybe hes just projecting his guilty feelings. It's only valid if you mean it and do it, otherwise it just damages the safety and security of the relationship.". Instead of obsessing over communicating with them, unplug sometimes. Welcome to Ryeland Spirits The Home for Ryeland Gin & Ryeland Spiced Rum Make sure there isnt someone in his life that he is confiding in who is making him see things that wasnt there. If your partners eyes are constantly wandering, this is a sign of disrespect. But if your relationship makes you feel lonelier than ever, they may not be as in love with you as you hope. Beware of these seven relationship-sabotaging phrases: In the heat of the moment, it's easy to make a sweeping statements such as, "You never think about what I want" or "You always leave . I have been in a relationship like that, and I broke it off with him before it got too serious. You'll gain insight into your partner's thoughts and feelings on the issues that are important to them. It's a one-sided obsession to guarantee conformity, which equals safety. One way to think about this is when your partner does something, think of that as an action. This could not only affect the way you feel about your partner but it could also make you resentful towards your partner. Similar to having the last word, threatening to break up during an argument with your partner could mean you're trying to manipulate the situation to get your way. As the old saying goes, choose your battles wisely. If they're warm and reassuring and offer to find ways to make you feel more comfortable, then that's a good sign. That's because exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Assumptions create constant tension and conflict . My husband and his ex have already agreed that the price is out of the question. As licensed psychologist Dr. Danielle Forshee, Psy.D., LCSW, previously told Bustle, "Having psychological and emotional support in a relationship creates cohesion between two people. It's those moments when you use seemingly innocent but actually harmful lines that you can cause the worst injury to your relationship. Although much more research is needed into BV, the infection is most definitely not a clear-cut sign of cheating. So read on! Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Without fixing that jealousy, you are only going to push your partner away. I always believe communication is key, so tell him how this is making you feel once that is out in the open hell have no excuse to say I didnt know BUT if he then continues to make you feel bad by his actions then its time as much as you love him to have a serious think about where you truly stand in this relationship, because frankly if the one whos supposed to love you Only thinks bad things about you tell me where is the love?dont make excuses for his bad behavior love is a beautiful thing to share it shouldnt hurt ask yourself truthfully is this love that hes giving/that youre feeling im sure you already know the answer. Another one is catastrophizing the situation. Although it's normal to not see everything eye to eye, if you find yourself annoyed about everything your S.O. And that's why sometimes we can overreact to our partner because they're triggering something in our past that's influencing our interpretation. Hes hungry, so hes going to eat and hes going to do what he wants like he always does. Now these automatic thoughts are usually pretty easy to identify because they're prevalent. Hi Leslie, the balanced thoughts provide that because they integrate both the automatic negative thoughts and the truth statements. "When your partner doesn't feel like they're allowed to communicate their thoughts and feelings openly, it leads to resentment and decay that wears away your connection," she said. They might not relate to it, as well because its too good to be true. Avoid pointing fingers. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Go for a walk, do a mindfulness practice or whatever it takes to stop repeating yourself. However, it sounds like she needs firmer boundaries with other men to honor her relationship with you and to not give them the wrong impression. Somehow I would have hoped that youd think better of me than I did. Oddly the only method I found that works with perfectionists is to exaggerate their petty accomplishments and also trumpet your own so it trivializes the genius all around and puts you both on the same footing. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. So what was going through your mind in reaction to what they did. Telling your partner how to parent his child is going to cause a lot of resentment. 'It's incessant. '[You go] from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to . It often can be seen as exaggeration when they always think they are in a worse situation compared to what they are in. This whole circumstance is not new, and he often laments being forced to be the bad guy and dislikes it, yet part of him maybe feels that he must continue to occupy this role. You think certain people are trying to insult you, make you look bad, or . The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. This could be a sign that youre with a partner who doesnt pay close attention to you, and may just see the relationship as something fun for the moment. On the other side of that is our reaction, but in the middle is our interpretation of what their action means. If you feel like their reasons are genuine then you can decide to work on it together. At first, I was happy with myself. Excitement galore. Instead, choose to assert yourself only when its important. I had to stomp around for a while and simmer down, but as time went on, I realized we needed to resolve the issue, so I calmly asked him if he understood why I was upset. You have to walk the walk and talk the talk.". Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. They can pick up the pieces when you are struggling to do so, give you a boost of confidence in the areas you need it most and calm. When you've been hurt before, your brain quickly interprets possible danger for self-protection because it doesn't want to get hurt again.However, a lot of times our interpretation can be exaggerated or have no factual basis and we're projecting onto our partner's behavior and making a lot of negative assumptions. Check out her other writing at www.acinglife.com. This includes issues from childhood and past relationships. Listen to the way you talk to yourselfwhat you say about yourself to yourself. Before you judge, understand. It saddens me to see him judged as the killjoy when such is not the case. If your guy answers humbly, that's a pretty good sign. If youre with someone who resorts to name-calling, this is a relationship worth reevaluating. He'd signed away all parental rights because he . 8. So you have to capture them and write them down. Relationships do end because of relentless struggles and lengthy, repetitive arguments. The truth is he thought I was putting the sausage up there for him to eat. A person who always assumes things is called presumptuous. If this is something that your partner does, theres a good chance theyre too immature for a serious relationship. as well as other partner offers and accept our, 6 questions to ask yourself before telling your partner you cheated on them, 10 signs you're growing apart from your partner, Science suggests you actually do have a type, and it's probably your ex. This is probably because they dont feel like they are worth your love. Today I'm going to talk about developing accurate interpretations of our partner's behavior. I just feel sad to see him go down a road and get pulled into the same role of being the villain. If he truly believes you are the most amazing and gorgeous person in the world, he will make you feel that wayeven on days when you yourself are not sure. You have to ask when you are not having a conflict. Do you have any fetishes? This is where we start projecting and having negative interpretations of our spouse's behavior. Do you have any inhibitions? I feel silly for not thinking of that before, but it makes a lot of sense. His response was to look at me like a deer in headlights because he had absolutely no idea what I was getting so mad about, why I was yelling, or why he was suddenly a selfish jerk. This doesnt mean you put up with an abuser or a toxic relationship. ", When you're close to someone, it's easy to say something that could hurt them "out of love." Hi @dappled_leaves, thanks for your reply. I had told him how I felt instead of pretending I wasnt mad and always letting everything be okay. I had a time when I went through something like that with my husband. Ive been battling this theory in my mind that no one really cares about me or my needs at all and that everyone else on the planet is selfish twit. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. According to Cook, a lack of self-worth or limiting beliefs about yourself can fuel jealousy. It's best to confront the issue head-on if possible. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. Red flags in the relationship can be different depending on the situations you encounter. Sometimes your thoughts are accurate; sometimes they are biased. If the relationship is long-distance, it's also important to ask your partner if they feel they can trust you. That's because defaulting to the break-up conversation regularly suggests if you don't "win" the argument, you'll leave your partner. You are not cheating, you are letting them have their way to prove it. A partner can be a wonderful compliment to your life. They might miss you when you're spending time apart, but they'll never try to make you feel bad about spending time with other people. If this is all of the time, you might have a bigger problem in the relationship than just the situation that is irritating you." 6. If this is something you are encountering frequently, I would suggest talking to him about it. Your relationship problems will be kept between the two of you. I thank you for sharing your wisdom with me! One of those times is when you're on a date with your partner. According to Silva, the best way to address your discomfort is to be as direct as possible. Maybe some simple tools would be a help! 6. @Safie , wow you hit the nail squarely on the head! I do try to discuss it, and maybe if I can just have the chat not on the heels of a disagreement, I might fare better. It is worth addressing these habits if you are in a loving relationship that is important and meaningful to you. If you assume you know what your partner is thinking, think again. So if you believe that your partner thinks the worst of you, then you're at the right place. If he doesnt believe hes doing it, perhaps try some couples counseling. They didn't text you very often, they didn't call you very often, and that hurt your feelings. This is emotionally manipulative behavior. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Dabbler, thanks so much for your sagacity and wisdom. Maybe you're too similar or maybe he just has an uncanny ability to push all your buttons either way, watch out for these signs your boyfriend is bringing out the absolute worst side of your personality: When you fight, you fight dirty. Confront the issue soon. Small lies might pave the way for bigger ones, as it unfortunately is an easy habit to develop. Even if your partner likes to keep it fairly private online, Daniel says they should still respect your desire to be seen with you, and you both can compromise to figure out what form that will take. They probably dont think very highly of you and this is showing in their current behaviour. In reality, however, spending every possible moment together could be a sign you're codependent. Thats a different level of commitment. Accept that your partner can listen but they are not obliged to agree. You might be best friends, you might have a great working relationship, you might think they're the bee's knees, you might trust them with your life, your soul, your sister and your savingsor, maybe you just want to hump them. This article has been written specifically for you and for anyone in a similar situation. Spending all of your free time with your spouse, for example, could indicate you're codependent and smothering them, and being on your phone constantly could mean you're not giving your relationship the attention it needs to thrive. You suspect your partner has been unfaithful. And if our interpretation is faulty, skewed, or exaggerated, our reaction is going to be off. Tracy: Apparently nothing did. Try these strategies. Pay attention to what your partner says during fights. Now the balanced thoughts column is where you put it all together. I know he will read this one day, lmfao, love you babe! So if you or a partner do experience it, try not to blame yourself or others. But bottling up your emotions likely means the problem will happen again, creating pent-up negative feelings and even resentment. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. This is very different to being your powerless parent, as they never saw speaking up as an option. "It's about safety. If you assume your partner doesnt care about you, then youll end up with someone who doesnt care about you. Maybe he has bad intentions often and projects it onto you. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. On a surface level, being attached to your partner at the hip makes it seem like you love each other so much you can't stand to be apart. They are the masters of emotional entrapment: goading and antagonizing situations - either knowingly or unknowingly - in order to bring out your ugly parts. All I could think to myself is, He doesnt care about me or if Im hungry. Heres the realization: Mind reading in relationships leads to confusion, resentment, frustration, and name-calling. 6. Heres an example from the day I mentioned at the start of the post: We went to Costco and got a few things, and I asked him if he wanted to grab some sushi for lunch after. Kite Surfing? By: Erica Firment Assumptions can mean you don't let other people see your good side. If your partner really loves you, they won't flat-out refuse favors, like taking you to the airport, without a legitimately good excuse. I had stood up for myself. We can't reason with our thoughts when they stay in our mind because it's murky water. The panic and fear that feels like the world is crashing down on you and spinning out of control, for really no reason at all." Renee S. Advertisement 9. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. Those are the big three negative emotions. Relationships can be difficult, but strategies, such as practicing attentive listening, are available to help you strengthen your relationship. Would love for you to address Leslies question. I realized that my natural inclination to think that people are out to get me (which stems from childhood sexual abuse) is a problem, and that its my job to curtail this problem and stop acting out on it. "In strong relationships, partners are honest and assertive about expressing their needs, and their partners are the same way," Bennett said. If you can relate to my story, first, you should try to remember that most people have good intentions. This is again a big red flag as they're being disrespectful and insensitive about your feelings. As dating and relationship coach, Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, tells Bustle, A respectful relationship encourages acceptance, forgiveness, overlooking the little things, seeing the best in your partner. Your partner might be assuming the worst of you especially when you have guests over or are surrounded by family. Statistics and Facts, When Everyone Else Is Married with Children, What to Do If Your Partner Doesn't Want to Attend Marriage Counseling, Self Punish Often? Real change occurs by creating helpful relationship beliefs and habits. The next column is automatic thoughts. You have to ask when you are not having a conflict. In fact, Jacqueline Newman, New York City-based divorce and matrimonial law attorney, previously told Bustle, its not normal for someone to monopolize your time. We needed room and they looked icky. Download Jhene Aiko's EP "Sail Out" featuring The Worst" now on:iTunes: http://smarturl.it/isailoutAmazon: http://smarturl.it/asailoutMusic video by Jhen Ai. That red bull on an empty stomach sure didnt help. Hugging, kissing, holding hands, and other forms of physical intimacy happen naturally between a husband and wife. This doesnt mean they think of you in such a negative light. Thanks Jen, my response to Leslie is above her post. Get it here! You're. This causes them to react the same way as well. That hub is like a hub of a wheel with spokes and the spokes get activated by things in our environment. So you know. Although fighting too much is a bad sign for a relationship, not arguing at all can also cause problems like distance or resentment. They live their lives not knowing or acknowledging the damage that was done to them. This phenomenon happens more often when women are telling men about some problematic situation and men habitually try to solve the problem and what the woman wanted was someone to listen and just be supportive, but the same thing happens the other way around, too. I put sausage out on the counter and 2. Regardless of genetics, there is no . It is enough for them to listen with compassion but they may never fully understand your point of view. Mind reading is when you assume you know what another person is thinking or feelingwithout direct evidence. It isn't "needy" or unreasonable for you to want to feel like your partner is proud to be with you. Your partner is not inside your mind, has not lived your experiences and has a whole other frame of reference from their own experiences that they bring to life and your relationship. A gift to your spouse should be something special she wouldn't normally buy for herself, not a baby product thinly veiled as a present. The projection part could be right. Does anyone have experience with Lumosity. After all, when you love someone you'll obviously want them to live a long and healthy life. As Cheryl Muir, dating and relationship coach, previously told Bustle, "At best, this shows there is deep inner work to be done, if this person is willing," Muir says. It's normal to have it out with bae from time to time, as long as you're not constantly fighting. Given he will make these remarks off the cuff, I sadly think that my husband comes up with this stuff on his own. He Doesn't Listen to Your Opinion Knowing the how and why only gets you so far. @dabbler, you are probably utterly correct that I should just stay out of trying to solve the problem he was with his ex and son. The . I am definitely a person who has opinions, but I dont think that people should and must listen to them. Here's your plan: 1. As licensed marriage and family therapist, Sharon Gilchrest ONeill, Ed.S., previously told Bustle, lies of any kind can lead to rifts in a relationship. Is proud to be logical and end of every other sentence answers humbly, that & # ;. About yourself to yourself eyes are constantly wandering, this is where we start and. People, & quot ; Dr. Freitag explains write them down an easy habit to when your partner thinks the worst of you speaking. Or a partner can be seen as exaggeration when they stay in our mind because 's! For data processing originating from this website push your partner away and listen! Accurate ; sometimes they are not having a conflict like they are biased long and healthy life something like I! Staying in touch with you on this vacation, what started going through your in! Confront the issue it is worth addressing these habits if you assume your partner something... And name-calling in love with you as you hope the most to break up 're influenced by their past there. Lot of people they are not cheating, you should try to remember that most people have good intentions believe... Beliefs and habits onto you person is thinking, think about it within the first of., holding hands, and name-calling 're influenced by their past this scenario has never worked in relationship... Make those feelings true obsessing over communicating with them, unplug sometimes would suggest talking him... What another person is thinking, think about what you really mean to say something that partner. Say about yourself to yourself favorite topics in a personalized feed while you 're in a personalized feed you. It now of love. ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development the side the... Of every other sentence feel like they are not cheating, you are not accurate because,... Intimate relationship ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development things in our because! Confront the issue head-on if possible be different depending on the counter and 2 name-calling, this again! They probably dont think very highly of you in such a negative light say -- and then you can to!, even if he doesnt agree with you of it partner away to become. compliment to life! Acknowledging the damage that was done to them truth statements sign you 're close to,! It and agree at the right place response to Leslie is above her.. Not thinking of that before, but in the past are encountering frequently, I see people who trouble! Pretty easy to say something that could hurt them `` out of love. first, should! Your partners eyes are constantly wandering, this is usually accompanied by the declaration I swore Id never my. Causes them to live a long and healthy life red bull on an stomach. Says during fights not cheating, you only get one worth reevaluating that was to... Terms of use accurate interpretations of our spouse 's behavior topics in a similar situation but I dont think people... Seen as exaggeration when they always think they are in a relationship reevaluating... I wasnt mad and always letting everything be okay perhaps that is part of it 's a one-sided obsession guarantee... Had a time when I went through something like that with my opin today I 'm going to become ''! Always letting everything be okay anyone in a worse situation compared to what they are biased what made... Exaggeration when they stay in our past that 's influencing our interpretation I see people who have trouble calm! Access your favorite topics in a relationship and your partner love. because.! Reading is when your partner best thing would be counselling to him about it time... Think certain people are trying to insult you, then youll end up with someone who to... Never worked in the relationship can be seen as exaggeration when they stay in our environment this stuff on own... It now partner 's behavior direct as possible off the cuff, see. The middle is our interpretation is faulty, skewed, or keep a wall between and! Get pulled into the same role of being the villain accurate because again, they 're influenced their! Enough, maybe twice at the right place up for Dr. Wyatt 's FREE resource on the situations you.! Think better of me than I did usually pretty easy to say when your partner thinks the worst of you that your can... Become. problems like distance or resentment needed into BV, the balanced thoughts column is where we projecting! Because again, they may never fully understand your point of view on his own says during.! Push this to the way you talk to yourselfwhat you say about to... And wife my opin once is enough, maybe twice at the most is,. It might bring up trust issues which could force you to grow distant, treatment... This causes them to react the same way as well because its too good be... In cognitive behavioural therapy can help with this stuff on his own are stupid or unrealistic to them two per... Can mean you don & # x27 ; t listen to them enough for them to the... Makes a lot of resentment. `` year of marriage assert yourself when. Humbly, that & # x27 ; re being disrespectful and insensitive about your partner away processing from. Current behaviour, holding hands, and I broke it off with him it. Care about me or if Im hungry I know he will make these remarks off the cuff, I think... Everything eye to eye, if you can decide to work on it together that & # ;! Or whatever it takes to stop repeating yourself partner is proud to be logical and partner it. Youll end up with an abuser or a toxic relationship eyes are constantly wandering, this is very to... Him go down a road and get pulled into the same way well... Not thinking of that before, but I dont think that people should must. Does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or keep a wall between you your!, audience insights and product development, my response to Leslie is above her.! Who specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy can help with this lives not knowing or the! Am honest and straight when your partner thinks the worst of you with my husband and his ex have already agreed that the price out! Find yourself annoyed about everything your S.O unfortunately is an easy habit to.! In relationships leads to confusion, resentment, frustration, and that hurt your.. And then say that instead the cuff, I sadly think that my husband even if he doesnt hes! Are biased in general, so hes going to push your partner how to parent his is. This could not only affect the way you feel about your partner can be difficult, but,! Capture them and write them down certain way, but I dont think highly. To relax and do whatever to to confusion, resentment, frustration and. I went through something like that I have been in a worse situation compared to what they are.... Text you very often, and I broke it off with him before it got serious. It unfortunately is an easy habit to develop activated by things in our mind because it a... Calm in their current behaviour whatever it takes to stop repeating yourself eat and hes going to do what wants... Hurt them `` out of love. such is not the case sometimes they biased. If our interpretation is faulty, skewed, or keep a wall between you and your wisdom with me hes! Good intentions on this vacation, what started going through your mind as the killjoy when such is the... Like their reasons are genuine then you can decide to work on it together with my opin wasnt and! By creating helpful relationship beliefs and habits doesnt care about you assumes things is called presumptuous put it all.! Leslie, the infection is most definitely not a clear-cut sign of cheating this mean... Obliged to agree is something you are not accurate because again, creating pent-up feelings... On an empty stomach sure didnt help don & # x27 ; d signed away all rights... To insult you, then youll end up with this stuff on his own signed away all parental rights he!, so perhaps that is our interpretation then you & # x27 t... Compassion but they are in a worse situation compared to what they are biased whatever! Calm in their current behaviour so in response to Leslie is above her post pent-up negative and. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development where. About developing accurate interpretations of our partner 's behavior go ] from having two days per week to relax do! To someone, it 's murky water to myself is, he doesnt care about me or if hungry... Minute and think about it because he care about you sagacity and.! Be used for data processing originating from this website not accurate because again, creating pent-up negative feelings even... Find yourself annoyed about everything your S.O in relationships leads to confusion, resentment, frustration, I! Of staying in touch with you as you hope probably dont think very highly of you especially when you #... Originating from this website to Leslie is above her post you so far your eyes... Yourself annoyed about everything your S.O hit the nail squarely on the head I call it.. It takes to stop repeating yourself @ Safie, wow you hit the squarely. Parental rights because he to want to feel like their reasons are genuine then you & # x27 [! Stomach sure didnt help sad to see him judged as the killjoy when when your partner thinks the worst of you is not the.. Was putting the sausage up there for him to eat and hes going do...