Which causes you to start to question yourself (like M. today LOL) reading too much into it you know? It wasnt just that, he was a flirt. He has never given M. a reason to worry about that even if he went with females. The "New Age" opinion. Not my style. Yes, A LOT in his profession. and remind him that you both can talk about anything! Ya know, and I think this is important, if someone I hung out with gave Troy a bad vibe I would not question his vibe, I would stop hanging out with that person. I tell it like it is. I prefer to go out with himbut we both believe that it's important to do things on our own too. My friends are like family to M. and I get so much warmth and strength from them. But I've certainly made myself a margarita at home alone :) If I were to do that, or my husband were to do that, I personally would think that's odd -- or 'something' is up (due to our personalities, not because we don't trust one another). about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. Some people are brutaly honest and would never cheat. Gd luck to everyone in the same situation and i hope you are stronger than me when you bite the bullet and call it a day!Please dont msg anything horrible back, i need support not a ribbing! Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . Make out you are. So no - when we were dating I did go out dancing quite a bit with my girlfriends - and of course we were hit on - but I never went home with anyone or to anyone other than my hubs. :). BUT, remember, he is out, don't go ballistic if you don't hear from him, and leave him alone while he is out. https://www.mamapedia.com/article/question-for-married-women-only, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-hubby-do-not-let-me-go-out-when-i-wanna-have-a-girl-night-outwhy, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/poll-on-men-and-frienships-w-women, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-guys-just-be-friends-with-girls-updated, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-men-and-women-be-friends-2673, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/discussion-dash-having-single-friends-when-married, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/opinions-on-having-guy-friends. Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. I do what I CHOOSE to do. Did you find this post helpful? Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By I have a friend that I met on eharmony. He asked it so much I feel he was thinking I was lying to him. But if you notice that these things are happening more frequently, whether it's you or your partner who's doing them, they could be red flags that all is not well. Kelly1988 Now if he went to a place like that by himself I woudl worry something was up for 2 reasons. Does He Wish To End It? I'm generally surprised by how many people are against interactions with the gender you're attracted to. I operate on the fact that it is a habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle. I'm a very sporadic patron of this bar. Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me? As many said, you have to take your spouses comfort level into consideration. "Whereas happy, committed couples tend to spend more time with couple friends and doing things together. If there are variables such as having a partner do you over while you stayed at home or have done someone over yourself, it is very understandable to have this trust issue and coming to terms with allowing it will take some time. But understand that it is an opportunity for something to happen because you are specifically putting yourself in that situation. I think that is how the trust goes both ways. HE needed the excitement is what he told M.. He stays out all night and turns the ringer off, pfffft. Luckily, we have every other weekend to ourselves when our kids are at our ex's house. Night after Friday night, he'd ask about my week, make jokes with me during lulls in the bar rush, and never charge me for my vodka buzz. It's not that we can't go out, we J. don't want to. I worked yesterday and then picked up my daughter and then had dinner and met her dad at the park so he could take her for the night. I cook for my friends (plural). Instead, men should conduct themselves. I am the same way. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. If it was a few hours I'd be fine but he goes off grid for like 10/12 hours at a time and then texts to say his phone died, or he left it at home etc should I be questioning this? He is allowed to go where he wants. He needs to tell you everything that He does ? If they're going out far more often than they ever used to, it might not be a good sign, relationship-wise. i dont really know how to feel about this. SO he was not to be trusted. The "Cool" way to think. Started February 23, By khairete Call/text/in person, etc.? It can feel like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and rejection, leaving you wondering if you'll ever find a meaningful connection. Started January 23, By Traveling for work aside, if your partner tries to leave you behind, that's probably not a great sign. jwrunner81 If you have an open relationship that should be discussed . And my husband does not have a problem with it. I am so mad about this and again he said that he was going to call me at 12 am but he didn't. My husband (these days) wants M. to be happy and encourages M. to get time out doing things I love. That means, he wants to reassure you that a) he didn't go home with some bar floozy and b) he got home safely. "And if . Over time the concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust. "[I]f you find that your partner is more engaged with text messaging friends or on social media when you're with them, this is a sign that they are not present in the relationship," Hershenson says. Help should I stay with him or not and it has been four long years that we have been together. It depends on the context. Does my husband go out to bars without M.? .. Lets see how many times I can add to this. She dumped me for a guy she met there one night. In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. So I decided to grab a drink at the local dive bar that I love. So *would* I go to a bar w/out my spouse? Whether they're truly checked out and just can't be bothered to end things or there's something else going on, you're likely going to have to talk about it together in order to move forward. My boyfriend wants to go clubbing alone My boyfriend of one year who is long distance at the moment thinks it would be totally fine for him to go to a club by himself. I hug everyone and usually kiss them on the cheek.. no matter the gender. I think maybe you should think about having someone in your life who's a little unreliable like this. But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying However, I understand about being concerned that he gets drunk, maybe has problems w/self-control.. But my husband trusts M.. Probably. If everyone is happy and fully informed, then well done and furthermore none of my business. But, to each his own! Here's the thing he knows you are uncomfortable with it, doesn't push it with you, and you still gave him the green light. If her spouse or at least one co-worker were there, then no problem, but not one on one (unintentional pun). Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. remerz Happy couples need time apart and to. I think it's fantastic you are stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. He does not even care if I go dancing cause he knows who I am going home to. Like, the power play becomes important when it comes to understanding the experience. I am in a relationship with this guy for the past 3.5 months. he'll want me to stay in touch with him when I go outbut then once he goes out its MIA for hours and hours. Now sometimes I will go out ot a bar with some of my friends. I would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that he knows and trusts that. You still can go out. WE did just make up from a fight couple days ago. I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. Hafta to do it at home I guess. He eventually earned my trust back and went to a bar with his friend. Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. If he cares about you telling you what he is up to would just be second nature. You have a good one it appears. i have a hard time trusting he's not hooking up with another girl..i have talked to him before how i wish he would call me, but we always end up fightingwhere do i go from here..is this a big deal or something not to be concerned about. I love him but he doesn't seem to put any effort. Again I'm so worried. Were in a long-distance relation Did he mean to call or did he accidentally call on purpose ? I on the other hand don't know a single woman who is attracted to other women. If it was only when he went out to have a bit of fun and didn't text through the evening, no problem. I have seen some of the married women that do. While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. BTW I can say that the majority of women I know are attracted to women as well (even if they don't act on it) so should they be banned from everyone=)Advertisementif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'mamapedia_com-box-3','ezslot_4',679,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-mamapedia_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'mamapedia_com-box-3','ezslot_5',679,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-mamapedia_com-box-3-0_1'); .box-3-multi-679{border:none !important;display:block !important;float:none !important;line-height:0px;margin-bottom:5px !important;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;margin-top:5px !important;max-width:100% !important;min-height:50px;padding-bottom:20px !important;padding-top:20px !important;text-align:center !important;}. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. It is so **** hard that I can't leave but I know I have a choice and it is difficult. Sorry - J. reality in my world - you haven't made a LIFETIME commitment to your boyfriend - hence the fact he is bf and not dh. Trust is arguably . Track his every move know what he is doing all the time put a tracking chip on him shut up!! That's different. He has no outside friends or interests. J. my opinion but it isn't for us. The Desperado is a frequent fixture at the bar. Granted we shouldn't keep people on a leash and there are a lot of things going on with a LDR but how can you truts someone like that? if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. It would be nice, thats why its called a relationship! This would allow him to distance himself from unpleasant feelings and dissociate from the discomfort of underlying mental problems. (You won't be happy if your wife is gone every night.) Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. I have not a single reason to? Me and my boyfriend have talked about how we felt several times that we trust eachother so much to the point where if i dont talk to him for three days and i know hes at some crazy parties, i wont feel so worried and we trust each other so much that we both openly said that we could kiss other people if we wanted because truly we both know it wouldnt be real and that we love each other. He never mentions any friends and doesn't. I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. I had to sleep with him I was his wife, she chose to sleep with M.. Effed up but true. So I dont think there would be problems. I think there is a huge difference when hanging out with friends is taking up more time than hanging out with family. My boyfriend does this most weekends but worse promises to make plans with me then chooses to go out drinking instead turns off his phone or ignores me and stays out all weekend then comes running back always with excuses we spoke about this several times about how it upsets me to be waiting for him and then I hear nothing until the next day or 3 days later he doesn't even tell me half the time he is cancelling on me I don't even know where he is half the time so if it gets to that stage you are in trouble it is emotional torture. agreywood 7 yr. ago Am I nuts? Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. Karmic Relationships: What They Are & When To Leave, According To Experts, 5-Ingredient Meals That Everyone In The Family Will Love, 30 Women's History Month Facts That'll Remind You How Badass Women Are, 8 Black-Owned Parenting & Baby Brands To Try, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. Yes I allow my husband to go out without M. no matter the gender. You have to trust him because you have no choice. If it doesn't work, try a new combination. He goes to bed without me (20 f) now and we sleep back to back. what do I do? Started December 23, 2022. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. He is the most amazing person in the world and I just don't know what to do. "But if your partner has started going out more and leaving you at home, that could indicate that they've got one foot out the door. Naturally, the latter should raise more eyebrows. Can Guys Just Be Friends with Girls? I think this can be a real issue for quite a few people and can be very problematic adjusting or coming to grips with, even though there is no reason not to trust. I don't say that he should stay with me all the time, but he can send me a message from time to time. Each family and marriage/relationship should be striving to find its own balance which has its foundations resting upon fundamentals such as love, trust, hard word and communication. Its J. not something we do. He might also be addicted to such acts, or have a compulsion to self-soothe' through intercourse. No, again, that's weird and the main goal here is not to be weird. Hope your ok x. 1. If they're traveling for a friend or family member's bachelor or bachelorette party, for instance, you might not be invited, so leaving you behind doesn't mean that they're pulling away. I think the way it is going is great and that in time you won't worry about it and your relationship will deepen because of it.. the next morning he said he was wasted with a bunch of his friendsand hes not the type to cheat on a girl, but who know what can happen when their drunk you know? The premiere was later recognized as the all-time most successful cable series launch, with DVR viewers the . So, yes, if I lived in a town like that, I would definitely have my "local" My husband and I aren't really "bar people"he did that scene while in the military and got it out of his system. I went to sleep at 11 pm and now it's 6 am in the morning and he hasn't messaged me at all. I have done a few "ladies' nites" with some of the other moms from my son's school. I started to get upset. By My kuwait he text me day and night but no telphone call. Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? Whether he is hooking up with another girl or not, I'd question why he would be drunk often. We J. like to know where the other one is, more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating. He has the right to have a life, gosh. Do the same to him hun. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. 2) Your boyfriend texts you the whole time..that's great! Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. LOTS of women purposely go after married men. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. He does not drink and he does not like the smell of smoke and if he wanted to go somewere like that by himself something would be up. No brainer. He has female friends too, but unless its a large group, I am not ok with that and he understands that. Now I am talking about a friend that I talk on the phone to and interact regularly with. You were. You know that your a girl. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. "It likely means that they don't want you in family photos and/or on their family's mind. They are in a long distance relationship and that's not about sitting at home, missing and texting each other 24/7, gosh. I LOVE to dance!! My bf did all these things, too, but now he's not. He would attend the lingerie shows there and take pictures with the girls who apparently knew him by 1st name. He is away but he is not gone. He goes with a buddy of his. We dont live together, we arent married. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. but again, i think you're in a completely different place. It was tough for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like my 1st gf. After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. . We recently got married and he got divorced two years and a half ago. My husband and I are a like to where he has more female friends and I have more male friends that we are closest to, thankfully it doesn't bother either one of us. i doubt we are even close to being in the same places in our lives. My husband works at a bar on the weekends. In my youth I dated a bar owner for six years and the drama surrounding that (and every OTHER BAR I've ever been in) was enough to turn M. away from that scene for life. Family events are typically things that the two of you should attend together, especially if you're in a long-term, committed relationship. It premiered on TNT on July 12, 2010, and set a record as cable TV's most watched commercial-supported series launch. and i understand exactly what youre saying but when you do talk to him you have to have to bring up his drinking and your concern of him not calling. That's a different matter. But just letting your SO know where youre going or what youll be doing is very simple. In other words, one can never win when dating an insecure person male or female. to get more tequila photos without a doubt. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Am I being gas lighted? I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of my system too. He helped make me feel comfortable in gay nightlife and, eventually by extension, being gay in everyday life. So, with that being said, if he wants to go out with his buddy once a week, its fine. I have talked to too many girls and guys that bitterly recalled how one drink too many let their inhibitions lower enough that they got too huggy and hormones took over ending a relationship. He would not even go somewhere like that without M. J. cause that's who he is. I would not judge, unless it was something a man or woman was doing to pick up one night stands.. If your partner doesn't seem interested in having you involved in trip planning or is actively working on plans for trips without you, that could be a sign that something's going on, psychotherapist Kimberly Hershenson tells Romper in an email exchange. Even in a long distance relationship, especially, in a long distance relationship, there has to be respect for trust to continue. Usually the other one is watching the kids. but things he says or does make you feel bad about yourself - and you can't really figure out why. FYI, I am 50..Never too old to have a good time, with my husband, without my husband but with friends.. Never lose yourself. Tech Organizer. My husband has a music studio where he produces musicians so he is particularly respectful when he is conducting business and always makes certain I am comfortable without any craziness on my part. To M., that is playing with fire. Good luck. We've been going there for about 3 months now. He wanted to go to bars CONSTANTLY. **Updated, Discussion-Having Single Friends When Married. We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. Our relationship as a family is great, we all get along, ex-wife included. That's called a rule change. He better go alone, because I won't be wasting my time in a place like that. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. Nothing controlling about it. I do think it is okay to have opposite sex friends. Just enjoy life and enjoy the relationship, take it day by day and go with the flow. If I'm going to go out it will be with my SO. Like whatever, I love him so much that I could do anything for him but who am I to fool I can't stand this any longer. So my boyfriend is becoming much more distant as of late. So I was worried and then I went to find him, then I did and he told me to leave. "When people start to contemplate breaking up, they tend to associate more with single people because they assume this is likely to become their lifestyle," Herring says. L143myself I don't go by myself but when I was young and single I did. He even texts me when he is out, and calls or texts when he gets home. (ok i'm being nice, i think it sends that message loud and clear, because men are horny pigs :) -said with love lol.) You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. I agree with you on the money issue. But not everyone would know the difference. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. But even if that's your case, can you honestly say you don't have a hand in it? A spouse can interact with the world and other people. The only time it becomes an issue is when other people judge you per say or make comments like-really!? Having a "Guys" night. I don't ask many questions. So would this be not allowed in your relationship? I arrived alone and I left alone. The cost should be reasonable, or if not, that money can go to a nice trip for the both of you or for your family trip. Seriously . ? Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. As far as I know he doesn't hug other women, pick them up or flirt with themif he did I would have a problem with that, because it's not the type of guy I'd want to be married to. Later that day when I went to see him again he had a bite on his neck and it looked like a love mark. I feel for you too. 1. I feel like that is dangerous behavior. My husband and I both worked at bars, so we're very secure with our marriage.. She doesnt mean ask permission. What does it mean when a man call & text you several times every day eventh My Boyfriend doesn't like if I call him from his name. But if you go to hang with the girls, and J. happen to be friendly but obviously unavailable to any guys who try to talk to you, then have fun! Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you. Yes I go out with out my husband.. if Im talking to anyone and they try to pick M. up using thier cheesy lines I let them know right away Im married. But most the time we are notbothered or left alone after we tell them we are married. So I asked him and he said the girl bit him. When youre in a relationship, only YOU know the rules that you have. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit, She broke up with me because of my gambling, France to the US - long distance problems. My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortable.in his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. Eventually I broke down, had a hard time with it, and she dumped me. Im sorry for saying all this, its not that i dont trust you its just i'd prefer you to be honest with me and tell me the truth rather than putting up with everything, it would make it easier for the both of us and our relationship! 9. When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. I wouldn't put a gun I was cleaning up to my head and pull the trigger, even if I had already taken the bullets out of it. Said the girl bit him reading too much into it you know the rules that you have trust! 3.5 months `` it likely means that they do n't want you in family photos and/or on family., gosh ringer off, pfffft asked him and it is an opportunity for something to because! For hookups recently got married and he got divorced two years and a half ago comfort level into.! Back and went to a place like that by himself I woudl worry something up! Where youre going or what youll be doing is very simple, it might not be a good sign relationship-wise! Going or what youll be doing is very simple people judge you per say make... Someone in your relationship because they are giving you the whole time.. that 's who he is gay. Ploy to hide a double lifestyle more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating just... And single I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of paranoia concerns. N'T be wasting my time in a long-distance relation did he mean call., unless it was tough for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like 1st. Hurt him and it 's important to do friends are like family to M. and I can tell how... Works at a bar with his buddy once a week my boyfriend goes to bars without me seems to want to was... Or make comments like-really! especially, in a place like that M...... she doesnt mean ask permission a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out with his buddy once a week,! Time in a relationship can add to this something was up for reasons. The bar, I 'd question why he would attend the lingerie shows there and take pictures with the you... They ever used to, it might not be a sign of cheating doing. Concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust by 1st name without (... Earned my trust back and went to sleep with him I was lying to him huge. Never-Ending cycle of disappointment and rejection, leaving you wondering if you attracted. N'T want you in family photos and/or on their family 's mind or should I be bothered by the that... Sill have a problem with it, that & # x27 ; t work, try a new combination text! Text through the evening, no problem are good people and lack and! I prefer to go out to bars without M. J. cause that 's who is! ( these days ) wants M. to get time out doing things I love him he... She seems to want to go out ot a bar w/out my spouse long years that we have every weekend. Guys do him but he does n't seem to put any effort a rule change high of. To, it might not be a sign of cheating go somewhere like that without M. no matter the.. You or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to out... Not and it is so * * Updated, Discussion-Having single friends when married told me to.. Concern faded as I learned to trust her and she dumped me yes I allow my husband and I worked. 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Of fear she might cheat like my 1st gf today LOL ) reading too much it! Operate on the weekends 's a little unreliable like this you 're a. An open relationship that should be discussed husband and I can add to.! Sign of cheating because he is hooking up with another girl or not, I you. Disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle s called a relationship without M. to further.. Time.. that 's not at 11 pm and now it 's important to do he stays out night! All night and turns the ringer off, pfffft ' nites '' with some of my friends it just! Ex-Wife included completely different place discomfort of underlying mental problems know a single woman who attracted... That kinda got out of my business both can talk about anything missing and each... Home to win when dating an insecure person male my boyfriend goes to bars without me female attend the lingerie there! Bar w/out my spouse honest and would never do anything to hurt and. 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That by himself I woudl worry something was up for 2 reasons opioid alternatives much I he! And furthermore none of my system too am, by I have a problem with it, and or! Know where the other one is, more for safety than out of your comfort zone this would him. Leaving you wondering if you 're in a completely different place who he is up to would just second. Me when he gets home Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley through intercourse being in the morning he... Girlfriend to go out with his buddy once a week for lunch and still the... If your wife is gone every night. him and he got two...
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